I am happy that I am a female (for the most part) but what I do wish I had, more than the ability to be the other sex, is the ability to change sex whenever I wanted to. Men and Women have their faults, strengths, benefits, and disadvantages. So it would be fun to swap back and forth between them. For example: as a guy, I could walk around topless without legal action being brought against me and as a woman, I am free to express all of  my emotions without social stigma.

A week ago, I bought one of those Bonsai Tree Kit things from Barnes & Noble (had an urge to get rid of the $7.15 left on my gift card)

From what I'm reading on Amazon.com about this kit, I don't think this is gonna be a pleasant process.

This damn kit was pissing me off from the start.....

First I had to read a Thumbelina-sized book about the plant to get directions on how to start the process. Three pages in, I felt like my head was going to bust from reading the flippin' small print!

The directions told me that I had to soak the seeds in water for 24 hours. I did so...





17:47, the next day I removed the seeds from the bottle, wrapped them in a damp paper towel, put them in a dorm-buddy's fridge, then waited for a week a.k.a today (BTW, the kit came with about 5 seeds. Two of which I planted)

[sorry no pics of my friend's ice-box]

So today I took them out of their wrapping and put them in the peat provided in the kit, watered the suckers, then stuck them out on my window ledge to get some sunlight tomorrow. (My roomie's pomegranate and my flashlight witnessed the placing of my bonsai seeds)




 Little bastard has a wonderful view of Queens now....


Now I wait. I did some research online a few hours ago, and from what I read the species of pine that I have (Jack pine) can take up to 60 days to sprout....




Hey, maybe if I'm lucky the thing will shoot a leaf just in time before I get called up for my diploma....

Music is life

and I truly mean that...

What is life without music? Without sound?
Music brings me so much joy (eewww, did I just say that?)

With that said, I'll move on...

So onto me, as in me-me. Not "me".

-A broke ass college student (primarily because I'm an impulsive shopper)
-The Queen of Procrastination
-Music addict
-Spontaneous
-Always high and hyper without the influence of drugs/alcohol (it isn't uncommon to see me dancing in the subway to no music. New Yorkers: Just take the E train to Kew Gardens on a Friday evening)
-Severe addiction to Black Tea
-A bit of a *cough* hopeless romantic. I love.....love.

So that's me. Or a bit of me....

This planet we inhabit; we don’t care about it. We live here, yet we don’t treat it like our homes. We are born, we live, grow old, and then we die. Our experiences die along with our bodies, and if we’re lucky we get to share them with someone we love. In our hearts, we secretly wish to be remembered for all time. Some of us get our wishes; famous poets, scientists, actors, etc. all go down in the annals of history. Their accomplishments are remembered and retold to new generations who will go on to stake their own achievements in history.  The rest of us, those who aren’t lucky enough to achieve such greatness, will go on to be heroes and legends to those we know and love. We won’t have our names inscribed in the encyclopedia, but we will be remembered by those whose lives we’ve touched. Either that, or we are remembered by the lives we destroy and the feelings we’ve hurt and the enemies we’ve made over our lifetimes.

 

Thinking of all this, I don’t know how I would like to be remembered. My future is still being shaped today and the days to come are still unknown to me.

 

I am still unknown to me.

 

Will I love with my whole heart and seal my memory in the hearts of others, or will I be the cause of tears, heartache, and emotional suffering? Will the earth still be here under my feet? Will I live in peace or will I live in fear each and every day for the rest of my life?

My mind is flooded with a sea of thoughts and time progresses on its own accord; I think of a whole page, yet I’ll be grateful if tomorrow reveals as much as sentence.

Frustration – Sept.13.2007

 

I am driven mad by your purity

Never have I experienced such innocence,

A vacuum where no ill-will exists

My mind cannot comprehend this

It's all too foreign and bizarre

I futilely attempt to draw from you, things which don't exist

Things which I've grown accustomed to, over the years

Things which exist within myself

Things which I convinced myself, lived in everyone else

 

This deeply frustrates me

Perhaps you've surpassed my level

Am I truly that ignorant? Puerile? Dense?

Are you truly that mature?

 

I attack you with pure anger,

Masqueraded as sarcasm

You defend yourself with pure kindness,

And my fury reaches another level

I feel so weak in your presence

So powerless, insignificant, and helpless

I shrink so small

Yet you stand strong and tall, like a fortress

For that, I seethe with jealousy

For that, I gravitate towards you

 

For that, I lust for you

 

Maybe

Just maybe if I get hold of you,

I will be able to harness the power you have over me

I will be able to stop crying inside when you smile at me

I will be able to release this resentment I have for you

And maybe you will be able to show me a new level

Your level

And maybe you will be able to show me a new emotion

Love

And maybe in your arms, I will find everything that I ever looked for

Everything that I ever wanted

Everything that I ever needed